Archive for September, 2008


September 17, 2008

I have a good friend who is a writer. He writes poetry, essays, books, articles, devotions, and several other forms of literature that I can’t think of just now. The point is he writes. All the time. Every day. And He’s good. Really, really good. 

I struggle to make an email coherent. (Maybe I should Twitter. But I’m not that concise, so maybe not.)

I post this in honor of those of us who have a difficult time putting words together in a way that won’t cause their old High School English teacher’s heads to aspolde.


Why English Teachers Die Young

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E.coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. 

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. 

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. 

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t. 

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. 

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. 

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. 

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. 

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. 

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. 

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. 

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. 

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. 

26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser. 

27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. 

28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.




This Is Funny

September 12, 2008

I know I said I wouldn’t be posting as much, but this is too funny…



(HT- Challies)

Update – Watch it again and read the tag lines at the bottom, especially the one about David Gerrard about 2/3 of the way in.

A Good Word For Me

September 11, 2008

I was reading the story of Elijah fleeing Jezebel this morning, and heard a good word for me. 

“Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” I Kings 19:7

Without nourishment for my soul, my journey is too much for me.

Simple, basic, Christianity 101. But I need to hear it again, because I try to make the journey in my own strength way too much of the time.

A Holy Experience

September 10, 2008

Ann Voskamp’s blog is must reading for me. Whatever she writes is well worth the time you give to read it, and the time you give to ponder and reflect on it later.

This was too good not to pass along.


I’m tired

September 9, 2008

You may have noticed I haven’t been posting a lot lately. I’m tired. Physically and spiritually tired. 

I’ve been trying to keep doing the exterior work that I believe God has called me to do, without tending to the interior life necessary to do it. 

The result is that I’m tired and need to rest and return before more damage is done.

For the next month, or so, I’ll be posting, but maybe a little less than usual.

If you think about it, pray for me.