On Being Satisfied…Or Not

Here’s a question for you.

Are you satisfied pleasing God?

Are you really? Or are the things you do designed more for pleasing people (your self included)?

Think about that for a while, and I’ll do some confessing in the mean time.

Lately God has been dealing with me in three areas. He’s been gentle, and even though I’m seeing more of the way I really am, there’s no condemnation. It’s as if he’s saying, “You’re now ready to see a little bit more of what I see everyday.”

It’s a humbling thing to know more about yourself. Humility ought to make me shut up. Lack of it makes me, like Job, utter what I do not understand. So I think I’ll try more quiet & listening, and less speaking. At least the kind that comes from thinking I’m further along than someone else. 

In a nutshell, he’s showing me that I’m…

1) …very fallible and incompetent.   I was under no delusion before, but I had hoped I was closer to swapping the prefix in- between those two words. There are some good stories connected with this one. (More later…)

 2) …not usually brokenhearted over my sin. I’m more irritated and frustrated, so I “try to do better”. But “sin management” doesn’t work too well. On the other hand, when I have been brokenhearted about some besetting sin, I’ve seen much more real change in my life. But that’s a scary prayer, “Lord, Break my heart over my sin.” (see Psalm 51)

3) …not satisfied with pleasing Him.  This one was really a question, “If I called you to a life of hiddeness, and I was most pleased by that, would that be enough?”

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to please, or impress the people around me. But my greatest pleasure  -and ultimately it is about my pleasure. Pascal said, “All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end.”, and I find no reason not to believe him.-   should come from pleasing God.

I know that.

We all know that, at least in our heads. I don’t know about you, but my problem isn’t that I don’t know. My problem is that I don’t trust Him enough to quit “spending [my] money on that which isn’t bread, and [my] labor on that which doesn’t satisfy.”

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